One month can make all the difference.

21Sep15

When I made this post three weeks ago, one week had already passed since I made the biggest mistake of my life. I had gotten a real shock and as it’s turned out, it was the best thing that could have happened to me. I keep referencing this Fight Club quote, but it feels accurate for my situation: “It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.” Since this happened, although I’ve had my down times, life has taken a turn for the better.

I am a completely different person, even after one month.

I’ve been sober. I’ve lost 14 pounds. I’ve closed a chapter in my life that was destroying me down mentally and had become a crutch for my depression. I’ve learned to cook (a little). I’ve kept my house in better order than it has been in in years. I’ve talked to family I had shut out for years (for no reason other than depression). I’ve had the best times with my kids I’ve ever had. I’m a better father than ever before, which really tells you where I was mentally for the past seven years. I know I’d be a better husband, if I had the chance.

I start therapy tomorrow night to try and beat the remaining depression, anxiety and myriad of other issues that I’ve been denying for years. I’m going to AA soon to see if that’s another option for help and support. This all feels like a new chapter in my life. Help was never an option I considered, as dumb as that sounds. But now, I’ve never been stronger and I feel like I’m ready for help. I can’t imagine what a few more months time will bring to my health and outlook.

The only thing missing is my family. My mission now is to work at being even better and stronger and bring my wife and kids back home together, where we all belong. Patience, communication and love will be key in helping us all heal and find common ground again. All my walls have been broken down and I feel like I can do anything right now. Not everything is fixed, but just having the will to even make things right again is a huge thing for me.

Thank you to everyone who has supported my family through this. Many of you who read this blog also follow my wife and any time you positively support me or my wife or my kids, even though we are separated right now, you support getting this family back to where it should be. We’re a long way from the end goal, but it means more than you’ll ever know.

Thank you. I love you all.

It has been an awesome day.

A photo posted by Dan (@infinitesad) on Sep 20, 2015 at 1:39pm PDT

 

Advertisements


10 Responses to “One month can make all the difference.”

  1. 1 hedgy94

    Glad to hear you’re doing well, Dan. Hang in there and things will continue to get better.

    @hedgy_

  2. 2 Gatman

    Keep at it, Dan!

  3. 3 BoredPilot

    Keep it up Dan!

  4. Awesome Dan. Keep it up!

  5. 5 Will

    You sound like you really are a different person now Dan, and it sounds like you look forward to growing. Keep it up,and I look forward to your success

  6. Good looking Dan, hope things get better pal 🙂

  7. Way to go dan!

  8. 8 Agenta

    Keep at it Dan! It can only get better from here!

  9. 9 Alex

    You are amazing Dan. I think a lot of gamers hide their depression behind endless hours of gaming/twitch that make the days blur together and create rifts with friends/family. I think unfortunately I just described myself…so hopefully I can get my own shit together.

    • Just start pushing yourself to do more, get out from under the depression and push forward. Get help if you need it. Don’t wait!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: