The Comfort of Routine

02Feb17

I woke up today, and for the first time since 2006 I didn’t have a job.

So I slept in!

Normally there is a feeling that you got one over on the man when missing work and sleeping in, but today had none of that was present. Everything just felt weird. The first thing I did when I woke up this morning was grab my phone and see if I had missed a call to come in. The second thing was to delete the “Work” entry on my calendar.

Work had become part of life for 11 years. I wasn’t doing my dream job but work was always there. It was ever present. There is comfort in that. Even when my life was in shambles following a divorce, I knew I had the routine of work every day. I knew that someone¬†was going to care where I was if I didn’t show up. Even if nothing else was going right, I had this thing I had to do.

Now I feel adrift and, again, just plain weird. The shock is gone 24 hours later. I feel uncomfortable and this is nothing like a “day off.” As I usually do in crisis situations, I saw two ways to go: I can either wallow in this (I did stress-eat eight rice krispie treats, a bowl of ramen and pizza rolls last night) or try to make something new out of the situation.

So I’m trying my best to get a routine going. I made myself a to-do list and some coffee. I’m writing this post and then I’m hopping on the ugly mess of a website that is LinkedIn. I can’t be idle. I can’t let a lack of routine set in. This isn’t vacation. This is work now.

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